Thursday, 25 October 2007

The Geekiest Picture I've Ever Drawn

Click on the picture to see a bigger version and see if you can spot all of the references. There are 13. Or, at least, there are 13 intentional ones.

The Geekiest Picture I've Ever Drawn

Thursday, 11 October 2007

The Girl With The Forgettable Face

I once met a girl called Katie
With flowers in her hair.
She wore a pretty summer dress
And sandals light as air.

It was at the garden barbeque
Of two old friends from school.
We were stood outside the marquee
Just past the swimming pool.

We found we both felt alien
In this garden of excess.
Where the other guests spoke only
Of their monetary success.

We talked for many hours
On matters of the day,
Of politics and popstars,
Of war and Brian May.

But the next time that I saw her
She wore very different clothes,
And I failed to even recognise
Her most indistinctive nose.

It was in an indie nightclub
When I saw some friends of mine;
A most pleasing encounter
(I'd not seen them in some time).

A girl in jeans and t-shirt
And six piercings in one ear
Dancing with them came to
Talk with me as soon as I was near.

Her face was not familiar,
Nor was her rock chick guise.
I felt no flicker of cognition
Peering into her listless eyes.

She said her name was Katie
And that we had met before,
But I told her if that was the case
I would remember her for sure.

I didn't recognise her eyebrows,
I didn't recognise her teeth,
I was certain if I'd talked to her
It must have been very brief.

Her lips lacked definition
And I could not describe her skin,
Not even if you locked me up
And threw a tiger in.

She looked a touch disheartened
That I was unable to place
Her, simply on account
Of her very average face.

She patiently reminded me
As she took me to one side.
Then all traces of annoyance,
She wiped out of her mind.

We drank 'til after midnight
And we talked 'til half past two,
And I fell in love with Katie
At encounter number two.

We agreed that we would meet again
For luncheon the next day
At the fountain by the station
On Sir Terence Higgins' Way.

At one o'clock I waited
For the girl who stole my heart
And hoped it would not end before
It even had a chance to start.

I wanted her to look at me
The way she had before
(Though I couldn't quite remember how
She'd looked at me for sure).

I waited for her patiently,
Inventing new excuses
For her lack of punctuality,
Mostly involving mooses.

Perhaps she had been training them
In the skillful art of mime,
And had been making such good progress that
She'd lost all track of time.

Perhaps she'd had to duel with one
For besmirching my good name,
And whilst defending for my honour,
She'd narrowly missed the train.

By two my tales ran dry and flat,
I told myself to go.
This girl for whom I'd fallen
Clearly didn't want to know.

I hug my head with sadness
That I simply could not hide.
In that moment, a tiny
Little part of me had died.

But as I turned upon my heels,
I heard a strained voice say,
"How could you not remember me?
You only saw me yesterday."

She was stood there in a parka coat,
She had been there all the time.
I'd seen her when I got there,
Even wondered why she cried.

I suppose at least that did explain
The tears staining her cheeks.
I'd thought she'd looked as if she'd cried
For weeks and weeks and weeks.

I met a girl called Katie
But I couldn't make her stay.
She didn't think I liked her
So she turned and walked away.

Last month I heard that Katie
Would be on a TV quiz.
It made me stop and think of her,
"I wonder how she is..."

I set my tape recorder
So I could video her show,
For I had a family dinner
To which I couldn't have said no.

I made myself a cup of tea
At home when I got in,
Before I put the tape on,
To calm the butterflies within.

With a little hesitation
I rewound it to the start
And prepared to watch the clever girl
Who still possessed my heart.

But when I pressed the button
To play the quiz show back,
On the recording there was something
That just one contestant lacked.

While all the others' features
Would unfalteringly show,
Katie's face was missing.
All in it's place, was snow.

Despite my sweetheart's beauty,
It had recorded just her dress.
Her face was so forgettable,
Even on VHS.