Saturday, August 30, 2008

The Men Who Dream of Taxes

There's an illness going round,
You must have heard, I'm sure.
They say it's worse than measles
And they're yet to find a cure.

It infects you while you're sleeping
And by the time you wake
It has control of your subconscious
And the decisions that you take.

I have a friend named Sidney
Who succumbed to it last week.
I hope he will recover
But the outlook's pretty bleak.

He went into a bookshop,
Just browsing for a while,
He found a book to purchase
About a hungry crocodile.

With rapid calculation
He added to the price
An unusual percentage,
Seventeen and a half to be precise.

I don't know why he did it,
But that's the sum he paid.
It's not like Frugal Sidney
To spend more than he's made.

And then there's poor old Cyril,
Who works in telesales,
On unsociable shift patterns
In a mining town in Wales.

He's working for a pittance
That barely pays the bills,
Yet every week he does something
That's giving me the chills.

He takes about a quarter
Of the money from his work
And gives it back as if
He's a complete and utter buerk.

I don't know why it's happening
Or how it gets around,
But dreams are making decent men
Give unnecessary pounds.

I know of men who've filled out forms
In order to request
The Government to take their dough
(And they hardly would protest!)

But those who are more savvy
Try to control their cashflow
By moving funds to countries
Where infection rates are low.

Perhaps it's a mutation,
As they're claiming in the news,
Of a Far Eastern brain virus
That likes to live in shoes.

It breeds in grimy sweatshops
Where kids are poorly paid,
Not even one whole penny
For each trainer that they've made.

Perhaps it's a conspiracy
By the leaders of our land
To strip us of our riches,
Leave us with empty hands.

With genetic engineering
It shouldn't be so hard
To design suitable ailments
That will make us drop our guard.

Oh my!

The Prime Minister is using us
To fund his evil schemes.
He's topping up his pension
By controlling all our dreams!

Our only hope's the women,
They seem to be immune.
Unless...

...it's they who orchestrate all this.
In which case, we're all doomed.

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Link of the Day: Portrayal Of Obama As Elitist Hailed As Step Forward For African Americans

Friday, August 22, 2008

Heroes, #4

Heroes, #4

Sorry it's been so long updating, this summer's been ridiculously hectic. I'd like to say it will settle into a regular routine again now, but I'm making no promises.

[Edit]


images hosted by flickr | evilflea supports the hoja project

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