Sunday, 26 December 2010

Strong Man

I'm in the grip of a poetry writing frenzy at the moment.  Which is probably why a lot of it isn't very good.  This is a poem dedicated to Geoff Capes.  Please do visit his website, which appears to take some of its inspiration from the Geocities school of design.  And turn your speakers up.




Strong Man

Strong Man is
so very strong.
His arms and legs
are very long.
He shows them off
wearing a thong.
His favourite film
is called King Kong.
And every day
he plays ping pong.
Only a few
words rhyme with strong.

Yes, I'm aware that more words than that rhyme with 'strong'.  Answers on a postcard marked 'CYLINDRICAL FILING SYSTEM'.  (That means you, Jennifer.)

Link of the Day:  Any of the ones above.

Happy Boxing Day.

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Saturday, 25 December 2010

Sketchbook 4: Party Popper

Party Popper

This is the very last thing I scanned from the lost Sketchbook 4.  So the next quick doodle will be from Sketchbook 5, which will have my email address written in the front of it.

Link of the Day: Merry Bloody Christmas

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Tuesday, 21 December 2010

Sketchbook 4: All the Coolest Cats...

All The Coolest Cats...

Link of the Day: Recycled Stool (Not this kind of recycled stool, by the way, which featured in the film The Yes Men, which I saw several years ago in the cinema and highly recommend.  But perhaps not while you're eating your dinner.)

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Monday, 20 December 2010

Cushions

Laura has challenged me to write a poem about this.  She's promised to write another one in response.  This may be rubbish and rather self-indulgent, but here goes...

Cushions

I used to hug you,
many moons ago,
when we lived together.

But those days are gone,
and now I hug you
hardly ever.

I used to squeeze you
while I sat on the sofa,
watched telly or read.

But then I moved out,
and you went to live
with my old flatmate instead.

And now that you're not
on my sofa at home,
when I see you somewhere,

I forget to hold you,
I simply sit on you
as if you weren't there.

---


Over to you, Laura...

***

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Sunday, 19 December 2010

Sketchbook 4: Tick or Teat?

Tick or Teat?

Yes, I know.  My friend Prascilla sent me a text with those words in on Halloween, then I doodled it a couple of days later, then I forgot to upload it.  Whoops.

Link of the Day: Porker

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Saturday, 18 December 2010

Making Lists

I wrote this on the back of a card I made for my Grannie, who had a minor heart attack recently.  I don't see or write to her enough.  Possibly because I'm busy doing other things that seem more important.

Making Lists

Things to buy
And things to do
And things to put
Inside my food

And films that I
would like to rent
And all the birth-
Days of my friends

And funny things
I mean to draw
And cities I
Would like to tour

And all the steps
For drawing graphs
(And other things
To do with maths)

And students who
Have misbehaved
Or tried their best
In class today

And when I really
Think it through
It's all I ever
Seem to do

A constant life
of making lists
Of this and that
And that and this

I always feel
The strangest need
When lists are not
Yet quite complete

No matter what
The list is for
To write just one
Thing, one thing more

Despite the lack
Of sense it makes
I feel compelled
To write down "CAKE"

True story.  I always want to add "CAKE" to any list I make.

Link of the Day: It was STEW

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Wednesday, 15 December 2010

Potty Mouth

I can't help feeling I should probably dedicate this to my nearly-three-year-old nephew, Flynn.  Yet, at the same time, I can't help feeling that I probably shouldn't.

Potty Mouth

Potty Mouth,
as he is known,
will not speak
upon the phone.

Not because
he fears he may
be rude and swear
his cares away

Instead, you see
he's had no choice
ever since
he lost his voice.

An accident
when he was three
had left him scarred
for all to see.

He tripped and fell
quite awkwardly,
was quickly
rushed to A&E,

and though the
doctors tried their best
and carried out
all sorts of tests,

he was left
quite standing out,
his potty fused
around his mouth.

As super
hero stories go
it's not a
very good one.

-----

Link of the Day: Skelewags

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Monday, 6 December 2010

Gretchen

My mum
suggested you.
The monster
who eats
mobile phone
chargers.

I named you,
then drew you
on the tram.
The smooth ride
let me give
you detail.

And then I
left my bag
in IKEA,
with you
inside.

You're only
three.

:-(

***

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Friday, 3 December 2010

The Annual Snow Sculpture Report

Well, I say "sculpture".  Actually the snow was rubbish.  Too light and fluffy, it wouldn't stick together and I couldn't even roll a big snowball.

So I did this, until I got bored:


Then, when I finished, like any self-respecting geek, I did this:


The moment I left, that kid started throwing snowballs at it.

I'm so normal.

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Foiled Again

I wrote this in a rather silly email conversation with the lovely Laura this evening.  It's a bit like some poems in a book I bought at the Alternative Press Fair on Sunday, which I meant to mention on here but was too disorganised.  (I tend to do that - write a little bit like things I've been reading recently.)  I can't remember his name or the publishing name he uses, because I lent the book to Laura.  I must remember to link to him at some point.

...

"Damn,"
said the chicken.
"Foiled again."
It was tin foil.
Or aluminium.
(I don't know
the difference.)

I didn't
have any
of my own
so I used
my flatmate's.
He probably
won't notice.

...

Aha!  I have hunted him down.  His website is Drunken Boot Publishing, and he's called Greg ... something.  And here's a little bit of his poetry.  It's ace.

***

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Thursday, 2 December 2010

Sketchbook 4: Bad Flash Heart

Bad Flash Heart


This was a vague attempt to capture the character of Lord Flashheart from Bells, the first episode from Blackadder II, from memory, on public transport.  Not a very successful attempt, but quite interesting all the same, perhaps. Part of me prefers Squadron Commander the Lord Flashheart anyway...

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