Monday, 29 April 2013

Very Short Mondays: Nothing Counts Any More

The bus arrived.

No numbers on the front, of course. Not any more.

You never knew quite which way they were going - the only clue was the destination printed on the front. Most people didn't remember what it used to be like.

Dorota hauled her shopping trolley onto the bus, had her card stamped and tottered over the to the first available seat. The bus driver waited until she was sat down before pulling away. That didn't happen very much any more either.

Trying not to wheeze, she looked at her trolley, fully to bursting with supplies. It was getting worse. Soon she'd have to bring a second trolley with her.

She looked down at the card she still clutched in her hand. Three spaces left. She wasn't supposed to think that, of course. Not that they had any way of finding out. It was funny, she thought. They'd banned it, but it was still what they used to keep control.

Someone, somewhere, was still counting.


***

Link of the Day: What a Prankster

***

Woofing Dog T-Shirts | Geeky, Nerdy, Funny, Cartoon T-Shirt Designs for Men and Women

Monday, 22 April 2013

Very Short Mondays: Diamond Press

Part One

"We've done it."

"The culmination of a life's work."

"It's beautiful."

"Let me show you how it works.  You'll find some coal behind you."

"How many lumps?"

"Just a couple.  This is only a demonstration, after all...

"...Now close the door...

"...And wait."

"Remarkable.  When do we go into mass production?"

Part Two

"Stop trading."

"Now, sir?"

"Yes.  Right now."

"They've been asking for your resignation."

"Tell them they can have it."


***

Link of the Day: The Octopus World

***

Woofing Dog T-Shirts | Geeky, Nerdy, Funny, Cartoon T-Shirt Designs for Men and Women

Monday, 15 April 2013

Very Short Mondays: The Cat With A Strand Of Spaghetti Hanging From His Mouth

The cat with a strand of spaghetti hanging from his mouth prowled along the garden wall.  It wasn't his own garden wall, but three doors down.

The cat that lived three doors down watched the cat with a strand of spaghetti hanging from his mouth, from behind a bush.  She wanted to avoid a confrontation.

The cat with a strand of spaghetti hanging from his mouth was always doing things like this.  It was becoming old and tiresome.  Evidently he wanted the cat from three doors down to think he had caught a mouse, but it was clearly spaghetti, and not a mouse's tail.  It was still covered in tomato sauce.

The cat from three doors down crept slowly back into the house.  She didn't want to get in trouble like the last time.


***

Link of the Day: Pierrette Diaz

***

Woofing Dog T-Shirts | Geeky, Nerdy, Funny, Cartoon T-Shirt Designs for Men and Women

Monday, 8 April 2013

Very Short Mondays: The Latest Thing

He sat waiting.

The butterflies fluttered in his stomach.

He was nervous.  What was he nervous for?

He'd been waiting months for this, ever since the rumours first surfaced on the Internet.

He'd camped outside for three nights, so he could be first in the queue.  He wanted to be the very first person to own them.

How different would they look?  Would they be as tactile, or even more tactile?   Would they feel any different to the previous incarnation?  The latest socks from George by Asda.


***

Link of the Day: The Town With No Roads

***

Woofing Dog T-Shirts | Geeky, Nerdy, Funny, Cartoon T-Shirt Designs for Men and Women

Friday, 5 April 2013

Slightly Less Short Fridays: Leaves On The Line

"Morning."

"Morning."  Brad smiled at Lewis.

Lewis smiled back.

This wasn't allowed.  Their little illicit rebellion.  The shook hands, making sure to make it look like they weren't shaking hands, if anybody happened to look at them, from a distance.

This wasn't exactly what they had thought they had signed up to.  For a start, when they joined, they were on the same side.  (Of course, they didn't know each other then.)  Where they stood now had been a field, not a national border.  And when they signed up they were not immediately issued with a pair of gardening gloves.

"Are you sure those are ours?"  Lewis, pointing at Brad's black bin liner with his litter picker, always stuck to his part of the script.

"No," said Brad, sticking to his.  "Of course not.  You?"

"No."

Lewis went to hand over his bag, and Brad went to offer his.  Then Lewis hesitated.  Deviated from the routine.  Deviation was always a little bit dangerous.

Eventually he spoke.

"Do you think anyone would know if you put your leaves back where you picked them up from, and I put mine back where I found them too?"

"We'd have to make sure we looked like we were swapping bags."

"Yes, we would.  Wouldn't we?"

"Yes," said Brad, breaking into a smile.  "We would."


***

Link of the Day: Craww

***

Woofing Dog T-Shirts | Geeky, Nerdy, Funny, Cartoon T-Shirt Designs for Men and Women

Monday, 1 April 2013

Very Short Mondays: The Girl With Wavy Hair

It started out as a neat party trick.

She could make her hair wave at people.  Actually wave.  And not just wave.  Any wave you could imagine.

The 'Royal Wave' was her favourite.  It was the wave she'd use if she ever met the Queen.  She'd never have imagined how close she would get.

She'd always been 'Daddy's little princess', and one day she hoped she'd be a real princess.

So imagine her excitement when the Princes came to visit her town.  She camped out all night to secure the best vantage point from which to see them, and to wave at them.

She was so excited, in fact, that she waved a little too enthusiastically, and was quickly 'neutralised' by the security services.


***

Link of the Day: Whole

***

Woofing Dog T-Shirts | Geeky, Nerdy, Funny, Cartoon T-Shirt Designs for Men and Women