Monday, 27 May 2013

Very Short Mondays: The Man Who Blew Butterflies Out Of His Trombone

The queue was huge.  The waiting time to see him was five hours at least, but no one seemed to be put off by this.  Many had brought their own instruments to see if he could perform the same magic on them.  He couldn't, of course.  He could only blow butterflies out of his own trombone.

He had shot to fame not quite from nowhere - he was already well known in many quarters as the engineer who designed The Palace.  Now he became a national celebrity.  More than that - a national hero.

When the hurricane arrived, no one asked questions.  No one looked his way.  The nation came out onto the streets and mourned the dead, mourned The Prince.  The Prince, crushed by his own collapsing roof, never to succeed to the throne.

No one suspected a thing.


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Link of the Day: Warning Label

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Monday, 20 May 2013

Very Short Mondays: Can You Hear Me Now?

"Can you hear me now?"

Petra opened her eyes.

"Can you hear me now?"

She looked around the empty waiting room.

"Can you hear me now?"

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" said Petra to the receptionist.

"Nothing," said the receptionist.  "I didn't say anything."

"Can you hear me now?"

"Yes," Petra whispered.  What was this?  Some sort of test?  Was this part of the interview?

"Can you hear me now?"

"Yes," said Petra, less quietly.  "I could hear you before."

The receptionist looked up at her.

Petra smiled.  The receptionist smiled back.


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Link of the Day: Places that don't look real but are

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Thursday, 16 May 2013

Sketchbook 5: Single


Link of the Day: I've started a new creative writing ideas website.  There's a link on the page to take you randomly to one of the ideas.  I've posted a whole bunch at the moment (over 100), and at some point I'll be adding more when I'm in the mood.  Feel free to add your own and follow it on Twitter or Facebook (links on the site):


[Edit: If you don't get the reference to cats, you might want to watch this.]

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Monday, 13 May 2013

Very Short Mondays: Just Down The End Of The Corridor On The Left

"Excuse me.  Where's the nearest loo?"

"It's just down the end of the corridor on the left."

Terry just about had enough time before his first lesson.  This was his first time teaching at this school and he was feeling a little nervous.  He'd heard about this place before, and not all of the things he had heard had been good.

Just before the end of the corridor, he found the door marked:


STAFF
GENTLEMAN


and opened it.

But it wasn't a toilet.  It was oak-panelled, for a start.  It was a drawing room.

A man with a pencil moustache and morning suit stood to greet him.

"Welcome, my dear sir!  I'm terribly sorry," he said, glancing at his pocketwatch, "I wasn't expecting you.  Cigar?"

"Er, no thank you," said Terry.  "Actually, I was looking for the toilet."

"Ah," said the man.  "That would be the next door along.  The one marked with a stick man."

"Oh yes, of course.  Sorry.  Thank you."

"Don't mention it, my good man.  Here, let me get the door for you.  Funny.  You'd be surprised how often people come in here looking for the lavatory.  Always seems to be men."

"Yes," said Terry.  "Funny."


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Link of the Day: I was trying to describe you to someone...

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Monday, 6 May 2013

7 Word Story: The Ballad of Tulse Hill

This one was written for voice class at drama school.  The challenge was to write a story that only uses 7 different words.  Derivatives are allowed.  I wrote mine at the last minute on the way to drama school.  I had 20 minutes of kicking my heels at Tulse Hill Station, and thought I'd go and get something to eat while I waited.  I failed in my quest.

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The Ballad of Tulse Hill

Chip shop closed.
Fish shop closed.

Dr Fish - open.
Dr Fish Spa.

Open, chip shop!
Open, fish shop!
Spa?  Spa?  Open?!
Close spa!
Open chip shop!

Chips!

Chi-i-i-i-i-i-ips!


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Link of the Day: NOOOOOOO!

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